


This is Not Beauty

by soldieroftroy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 21:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldieroftroy/pseuds/soldieroftroy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beautiful is soul that is not mine,<br/>And a body I do not own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Not Beauty

Today I had someone walk up to me and say

“Hey. You’re beautiful.”

And I smiled but inside I cried because

I do not want to be beautiful.

Beautiful is a soul that is not mine,

And a body I do not own.

This soul has tarnished off its shine,

And this body of mine is someone else’s skin on my own.

I do not want to be beautiful.

I want to be good enough for the word,

Or maybe even just good for the world,

But I am not

So I am not.

I think they call this self-loathing

But I have no self to loathe.

Just someone foul wearing me like clothes,

And I wish they’d take them off,

To prove darkness within to people who don’t

Can’t

Won’t understand when I say

No

Please

Don’t.

Do not call me beautiful,

Do not call me kind,

Do not say these words until you’ve seen

The black in my mind

That thrives to end me

And do evils against me.

I am not these words you say

In hopes of making my day brighter,

For there is a sorrow in my head

That fills me with dread

And I dread the day I’ll be dead and gone

When they say “Wow,

You were beautiful.”

They do not know my heart

And the struggles that ripped me apart

When I saw the dark and ran scared

Because there are monsters in there.

I have accepted that my soul hurts

And aches

And longs for a break,

But you call me beautiful,

And beauty is a soul that is not mine.

You do not see me,

Just the meat on my bones

And the Not-Me wearing my skin like clothes.


End file.
